The Doctor

After much begging and pleading I decided it was time I finally wrote a new blog entry. I do have excuses considering I had to teach in chapel this week and I have been sick. (Nothing major, just your typical Asian bird flu.) Seriously though, I mention my sickness only because it provides a topic for my blog. Today I participated in my first Taiwanese visit to the doctor. I must say that I enjoy American commodities such as drinkable tap water and chicken parts that aren’t organs. However, Taiwan’s medical system has that little Aflac duck’s head on a Night Market barbeque cart.
Taiwan requires that you have national health insurance, which unbelievably is very easy to obtain. It’s a little pricey at six hundred dollars per person, per month, but the service is well worth it. My experience earlier today was perhaps the easiest doctor’s visit of my life and the receptionist knew approximately five English words! She took my card, wrote down my information and I sat on the bench and waited. No questionnaire searching for my first family member to die of emphysema upon their departure from the Ark. No legal waivers or advisories or desire for past records. There is the possibility that the doctor is an avid fan of Michael Crichton and I’ll wake up strapped to a table with a laser eye and two stainless steel thumbs. I’m not worried, although I’m probably not legally covered for that; steel thumbs would be awesome! After waiting for a grueling three minutes, the doctor called my name. Conversing with him was painless considering his English was better than thirty-five percent of the residents in Alabama. He asked what was bothering me, told me how he was going to fix it and sent me back out front to wait for my prescription. Yes, the pharmacy is right there at the office and yes, the wait for my happy-pills was another grueling three minutes.
My ten minute visit being far too long, I decided it was time to pay and leave. The total for visit, diagnosis and drugs was only one hundred dollars. Not bad for a foreigner in a strange land. Oh and did I mention that those prices are all in Taiwanese dollars? Meaning that my insurance cost eighteen dollars a month and my visit and pills came to an astronomical three dollars by American prices. Sorry if you hurt your chin when your jaw dropped. Stop mumbling evil things about me under your breath, send me three dollars and I’ll call my doctor for you…